Tropes to avoid-The Johnny Boy Failed (The Lover Fail trope)

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Imagine a story that involves a male protagonist. They had a plot that was simple: defeat the dragon, and save the kingdom.

And so, they go on this massive, large adventure, only to discover this beautiful princess in a castle. She had been imprisoned by the locals of the village for crimes unknown to the reader and protagonist.

The male knight falls in love with her and frees her. Together they spend the remainder of the story falling more and more in love with each other, only to come and realize that the princess was the dragon destroying the protagonist’s kingdom.

She transforms horribly into a dragon against her will, and the knight is forced to kill her. He saves the kingdom, but he’s now a depressed recluse, and can never truly accept his victory, and this leaves readers and viewers feeling like the protag just wasted his time, and that the entire love scene was pointless bloat.

That’s the Johnny Boy Failed Trope.

This overused and out-of-date trope features a protagonist who loves a supporting character, only for the love to end in vain; it’s a depressing way to write a plot, and leaves no fruit at the end.

I call this bad trope this, because it takes up after the last Valentine’s Day episode of Johnny Bravo, where after getting rejection after rejection, finally meets a love interest that loves him back, but they wind up never being able to be together, because she’s in the “FBI” so after spending the entire day together, she wipes his memory of them ever being together.

Stupid, isn’t it? Why can’t they just be together, dammit? Exactly. That’s the problem with this form of storytelling. Now imagine if we did this for 4 seasons, built a core audience, and then disrespected them with this unsatisfying ending that makes people feel sad.

This is why we should never use it.

Many well-known stories have used this trope; Samurai Jack, Johnny Bravo, Dexter’s Laboratory, even the Teen Titans and the anime Tenchi Muyo, Futurama—the list goes on

…And it all ends the same; make a perfect lover, rip her from his arms.

These flawed stories are usually written by writers who, for some unknown reason, may feel some type of way about their personal relationships. Maybe they never experienced true love, or maybe they’re some 40-year-old virgin, I dunno, and they use this plot as a moral to push a personal agenda or wage a sexist vendetta against relationships that seem too good to be true and force it to be so in the story.

The reason, why this doesn’t work, is because as discussed, this leaves a bitter resolution that fails to captivate or solve the problem presented. It also makes people sad, and as we all know, people blot out sad stories from their minds. No doubt 10 years later, people will be more likely to remember Sleeping Beauty in Disney’s golden age, than the ending to Samurai Jack; because fans will be happier to tell that story than tell their kids about the one that just sucks.

It’s ok to let your male and female protagonists score and let them find true love. Don’t be ashamed to let them get it easy and allow the story’s resolution to involve one where both win in the end, and there is no sorrow.

Go on, and let the knight be able to cure the dragon-princess with a magical potion, and turn her back to his dotting lover. Or let that wandering samurai get the girl in the end—Go on, let Johnny Bravo get to marry his FBI lover already. This will let fans breathe easy, offer a TRUE resolution to the conflict, and allow the story to actually end, instead of leaving things feeling pointless and half-finished.

Take it from your O’l Uncle here,

you don’t want to end things on a sour note with your novel, unless you plan on ending it on a good note in the end, otherwise you’re gunna have a bunch of angry disgruntle fans, and a lot of people second-guessing reading any more of your works, for fear of it containing the sad ending.

-Sincerely, Everybody’s Favorite Uncle, Gregory Thomas

The Boxer who Prepared for Death

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Once upon a time in the 70s, there was a formidable black boxer named Alley. He and many young athletes, along with their trainers, would regularly frequent the gym, training to keep in shape for their next bout.

His biggest fan, a young boy named Paul, wanted to see his favorite boxer, who would soon be having a match up against an eager up and comer in a couple weeks.

Paul managed to see his favorite hero train; however, he soon found that the champ’s methods were unorthodox.

His hero Alley would take a steel pipe and hit his own arms with them with all his might. Imitating a shadow swinging the object at him, he’d even punch the steel pipe with his bare hands. The pipe would cause him great pain, which could be seen in his hero’s face. Then, the boxer would swing the pipe on his back and shoulders, even his elbows and knees, which further caused him further pain. This went on until finally Paul stopped him and spoke.

“Alley, what are you training so hard for? You can easily defeat this young inexperienced fighter you’ll be facing.”

Alley paused for a second, he sighed to himself, and smiled.

“I am not training for what I can easily conquer. I am training to withstand what overpowers me.”

My brand-new novel Greyward :)

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Hello fam, it’s Gregory Thomas again!

I wanted to let you know about a new novel of mine. It’s called Greyward!

Greyward is a scifi dystopian set in the 22nd century of America.

It features 18-year-old Mable, a New Jersey girl insanely obsessed with her favorite pop singer group Jodie Jodeci, and their lead singer Jody Jodie.

Crippled hopelessly with her obsession over Jody Jodie, the Thought Police snatched her up, and tossed her in the infamous Greyward. There, she meets new friends, soaks in the brutalist structure, and tried not to think about Jody.

A scifi suspense/comedy, I wrote this as a spoof against Taylor Swift fans, “Swifties” I was joking about the novel at first, but then it started getting good, and I decided to turn it into a book. Honestly, this is one of those works it’s better if you just read for yourself, than if I tell you.

Here is a Chapter 1 sample. Enjoy!

-Sincerely, Gregory Thomas

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*Note: This work is PG-13, with mild cursing, and themes.*


Chapter 1

Jody’s Biggest Fan

Jodie Jodeci was an American Pop Rock band, led by the lead singer “Jody Jodie”.

Jodie Jodeci was famous both nationally and internationally, with millions of people traveling to see her band perform; one of her concerts would be so packed, that people at entire football stadiums had to be turned away, because it would turn the building into a safety hazard. Streets would be packed for miles and miles with cars, unable to traverse due to the radically desperate screaming Jodie Jodeci fans trying to see their favorite idol.

In fact, their first #1 chart topper was their song, “Mona, Mona Lisa Smile”, which shot up to number 1 both in America and the UK, and stayed at the top for 2 years straight! People made memes about how popular the song was, and even did amateur covers of the song all across social media. In fact, despite the band’s demographic being made up of mostly female fans, male fans couldn’t help but be enraptured by how popular the band’s songs were.

The band was immensely popular, but the most popular out of the group, was the band’s lead singer Jody Jodie—she was the main star, and the true reason the band was so popular.

In her late 20s, Jody Jodie was a pop icon, she was known for her brunette hair, that would have a single strand painted pink in the front, she had her trademark light brown eyes, and a beauty mark on her left cheek just under her eye. She wore a leopard print scarf, and go-go black boots—overall, her producers dressed her up to appeal to teens, just like her fans.

The band hailed from Birmingham, Alabama…But her biggest fan, was in New Jersey, and her name was Allison Wadenski. She was an 18-year-old Freshman in college, and was unhealthily obsessed with her pop singer/idol. To the point that she took the liberty to dress up like Jody every chance she got.

Allison dyed her hair brown, with one single strand in the front pink just like her hero, and changed her name to Mable—named after Jody Jodie’s strange love for maple syrup.

Mable had brown eyes just like the famous pop star, and took it as a sign that she and her were destined to be together forever.

Having a New Jersey accent, she worked hard and practiced every day to make it sound like she had a southern accent, using slang and a southern draw just like the people from Jody Jodie. All around the house, and all around her classroom, she would walk around with a New Jersey accent that was pretending to sound southern, clothes that would match her favorite pop rock singer, with tiny black go-go boots. Still living with her mom and dad, her bedroom had the band plastered all over the walls—posters of the lead singer by herself, and posters of the band, long blankets with the band’s image on it nailed to the wall, hung over her bed, and even some used as rugs, with Jody’s favorite colors; pink and turquoise, used for most of the furniture; her desk, chairs, even her clothes and closet.

Just like Jody, Mable strived to portray a very animated and bubbly personality; swinging her hair, and constantly resting a hand on her hip, trying her best to come up with witty jokes and catch phrases the same way as she did on television; thus, Mable tended to resemble a 12-year-old kid.

She would paint her nails and toenails pink and turquoise just like her hero, and she would even carry a signature leopard scarf around the neck, just like the pop singer.

Due to her unhealthy obsession with the pop singer, Mable had no friends.

On her outside world, people at school, in her neighborhood, and in her house saw her as annoying, and judgmental of everything that didn’t reflect Jody…And online, her ‘holier than thou’ personality was immensely worse. Starting fan clubs on virtually every social media platform, she would serve as the forum’s leader, blocking, banning, muting, and shadow banning anybody in her Jodi Jodeci fanbases that failed to see eye-to-eye with her visions on how to be Jody’s perfect fan. Alone in her room with nothing but the light coming in through her curtains, she would sit endlessly at her laptop, ruling over the internet with an iron fist.

When she wasn’t online, she was listening to Jodie Jodeci’s music on repeat, bed-rotting with a magnanimous smile, while staring at the posters all across her room. Whatever Mable failed to find success in, in her life, she would find it by pretending to be her hero…And when she wasn’t pretending to be Jody Jodie, she was pretending to be her advisor, instructing all the people around her in a WWJD (What Would Jodi Do?) mindset.

Even her parents weren’t safe from their own daughter’s judgmental behavior. Mable resorted to only eating what her pop idol Jody Jodie eats—the singer worked to keep a light palette in order to stay thin for her performances, and so her mega fan Mable would also stick to the same regiment.

Confused and deeply concerned for their daughter, Mable’s parents were at a loss for words, it was almost unreal how consumed by the band on tv’s stardom completely changed her.

“You’re not from Alabama!” growled Mable’s mom, “You’re from New Jersey! Stop acting like you’ve got a southern accent!”

“But Jody’s got a southern accent!” beamed Mable, “She’s born and raised in Alabama. On her page she says she’s lived there all her life.”

“But Alabama is a trash state!” hissed Mable’s dad with a smirk, “Nothing but hillbillies and beer chuggers live there!”

“It is not! It’s an amazing state! It’s home to some of the best people in the whole wide world! All of Jody’s family lives there!”

Mable’s dad grunted. “Dammit, Jody this! Jody that! When are you gunna cut it out with all this Jody shit, young lady?”

“Henry!” cried out Mable’s mom, “You know how much that band means to Allison, she’s starstruck over them!”

“What the girl needs to be starstruck over Shelly,” Henry began, “Is getting her grades up in college. Look at these low scores, F’s left and right, it’s like she’s skippin’ school for Christ’s sake!”

“Jody never finished high school!” beamed Mable again, “Or went to college. She said she dropped out, and just started singing, and became popular!”

“HA!” grumbled Mable’s dad, “More like she started suckin’!”

“Henry!” hissed Mable’s mom, “Keep that talk outta this house!”

Henry sighed and threw up his hands, and Shelly shook her head and scoffed in annoyance.

Mable crossed her legs at the dinner table, and ate her celery sandwich.

The next day, Mable went back to college.

Midway through the day, she got into a heated disagreement with another student in the hallway about Jody Jodie’s favorite day of the week.

“You’re wrong!” yelled Mable, “Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, WRONG! Jody Jodie told me she likes Tuesday, because it’s Taco Tuesday!”

“What are you talkin’ about?” scoffed the other female student, “You don’t know Jody Jodie! You’re crazy! She said she spoke to Jody, you ain’t never spoke to no damn Jody, ahahaha!”

“That’s where you’re wrong. I did speak to her. I sent her a message over her official social media page on PingPong, and she told me, yup; she loves Tuesdays, because of Taco Tuesdays.”

“You ninny! That wasn’t the real Jody Jodie! That’s probably just her agent or some secretary that responds for her! She doesn’t have time to respond to your messages when she’s in a band touring!”

“That was too Jody Jodie! You’re just jealous because I’ve got clout, and you ain’t!”

The crowd of people couldn’t believe how deep Mable and the other girl’s argument was growing, watching helplessly as the two ladies got angrier and angrier.

“I’ve got more clout than you!” hissed Mable, “If you were a true fan, maybe you’d be able to get Jody Jodie to speak to you, like she does me.”

“You klutz! Jody Jodie doesn’t even know you. I keep tellin’ ya she’s got two favorite days, Tuesday and Sunday. She likes Sundays because she doesn’t have to work so hard.”

“Nope! Just one: Tuesdays! She likes that day more, because of Taco Tuesdays!”

“How’s about I Taco YOUR Tuesday, bitch?!”

And that’s when the other girl pushed Mable. Mable pushed back, and before anybody knew it, the two girls were snatching at each other’s hair, and tumbling on the ground in rage.

“OW! Get your hands off ‘a me, ya priss!” hollered the other girl.

“AHH! Let go of me, you crazy bitch!” shouted Mable. “LET GO! YOU CRAZY BIIIIITCH!”

The two fought until both the students and the teachers had to break up the fight, there was ripped strands of hair like a molting cat from the fray all around.

Copyrightcopyright March 29, 2024

The Boy and the Fly

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Once there was a young teen boy, named Danny.

His mother had told him to take the trash out, and so he did. It was a rainy day today, and while taking the trash out, Danny saw a fly larva that was caught in a puddle on the lid of the trash can. Despite being grossed out by the insect, Danny felt sorry for the bug, as he could tell it was close to death by the way it slowly and sullenly swayed in the water.

And so, Danny reluctantly tossed the fly larva from the trash can, and it flung off in the grass out of sight.

A couple months later, fly season was extremely brutal, and very bad, and it seemed like every time Danny went outside, there was this one lone fly that would always swoop down to buzz around him, only for Danny to realize that it was the same exact fly that he had saved.

Danny had made a friend out of the fly that he saved, who was very grateful, even though he had regretted his decision to spare it.

Cosmic Horror Novels should have a Noir Setting

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Cosmic Horror novels are a unique and sometimes challenging genre to write.

Last year in 2023, I currently wrote two cosmic horror novels back to back; the first and its sequel.

The first time I written a novel based after H.P. Lovecraft’s Cosmic Horror style, I reflected on the time period Lovecraft was born, and couldn’t help but wonder how the time and setting was important for his work’s premise.

Born in the 1800s, it would be behooving that most of his novels would have a noir-like, or an old-fashioned setting.

In the novels I wrote, I based them in the 1940s WW2 era, carefully considering the clothing of the characters, and the setting. The more I did this, the more I began to visualize the noir-like quality of what I was describing. The mood was dark, lonely, and there was this certain longing for a thing that seemed unachievable, yet right there in front of us.

It was somber, almost desolate, which added to the horror elements when they finally arrived. For me the noir made me feel safe, almost relaxed, and when they dissipated, it helped me to appreciate them for the safe haven they provide for my protagonist.

It was very interesting. There were objects like lanterns, rain, dark houses and buildings, and even descriptions like long winding corridors, with even a female supporting character to help the male protagonist come to his senses.

Cosmic horror often deals in the unknown, and unknowable, Noir writing tends to also follow the same format;

the mystery of an unsolved crime, or the uncertainty of truth. With cosmic horror; the uncertainty of the protagonist’s fate, there’s almost a fog-of-war over the world they inhabit. There’s knowledge there, but is the fruit edible to us as mortals? There’s a road here, but is a road meant for the protagonist to travel?

While HP Lovecraft’s personal ideals I found distasteful and damaging to his work’s premise (what with his fascist view toward African Americans in his life and also in his writing) the idea that a situation can be so inexplainable that it transcends reality in a chilling way is fascinating.

While writing my own version of a cosmic horror novel, I found the similar aspects between noir and cosmic horror to be pretty interesting, it helped to keep the novel steeped in mystery.

A man may walk down into a speakeasy, but what awaits him within? A truth may reveal itself, but does its origin reside in man or monster?

-Gregory Thomas

It Stalks the Screams (Cosmic Horror story Chapter 1 Intro)

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It Stalks the Screams, is a brand-new novel I am working on—already finished, just gotta find a job to finance it! 😫.

Based in the 1940s, it’s about a young man named Jack, who is having night terrors. Every night in his Cold harbor home, he has a night terror, and every time he wakes up, he completely forgets what they’re about. His nightmares descend on him worse each night. Follow Jack as he stumbles deeper into the Netherworld of his dreams, battling the unimaginable evils within, before it engulfs not only him, but all of Cold Harbor.

Note: Since the book is still being proofread, there may be some errors not seen.


Chapter 1

Aezdelinore Maul

At the stroke of midnight, there is a severed head that rolls out from under the bed.

It moans in pain, and leaves a bloodied trail, with eyes wide open. Too afraid to move I hide under the covers, and every following hour, I wake up. With no memory of the dream.

The cold morning brought rain with it again.

 I lifted the window to let the mist in, the sounds of the docks and chimes of the ship just barely audible. What an abhorrently grey sky, but the pale white overcast was always sleep inducing to me. There were times where the stubborn blue sky would be just visible from behind the cold grey clouds, but it would never remain.

The dream I had, I know whatever it was, was something terrible…But like a curse, every time I tried to remember, there was some kind of force preventing me. Either the memory block was an act of God, or a curse from evil, either way, it happened every night…At the stroke of the hour. I shook my head, wiped the sweat from my hair, and went downstairs. The hallways were dark, but inviting. Most of my furniture was brown, with decorative fabrics for the curtains.

Matching the floors underneath, the inescapable sound of rain was all around, muddled by the interior of my house. It was like a cave with furniture, and when you’re an insomniac like me, every hour is a sleeping man’s hour—oh the curse of being tired and alert… Opening the door, I clamored outside to stare at everything, cold mechanical cars were passing by; drivers with expressionless faces on both the men and women. Like the cars owned them, or perhaps the road they were driving on were their masters.

Me, I was always a horse rider, but ever since my favorite and only horse Charleson died last summer, I’ve found incentive to just walk everywhere, or stay home. I knew that another round of laundry would be instore for me should I sully my attire. Yesterday a rain walk had done more than ruin my apparel, it had also ruined some of the cigarettes I had with me at the time.

A shame that…Not only was I an insomniac wreck, but it appears I was an addict as well. Elaine believes that the cigarettes might be what’s causing the night terrors, and what’s been keeping me up at night—like always, she was the voice of reason. Thinking I’ll brave the weather and go see her. I reached into my pocket, pulled the withered pack of cigarettes out and sat them on the table, pulled out a pocket watch to check the time: 7:45 AM.

With an inviting click I stuck it back in my shirt pocket, and made way into the light drizzling rain once more to the town grocery again. There was always something about me in the rain that went together, like beauty and pain. Like blood and a wound. Like agony and child birth, or perhaps like youth and joy. Whichever came first.

I lived in the seaside town of Cold Harbor. Cold Harbor was a mundane place, with most people being old and stubborn. At times I wondered if I was the only person in town that dreamed, or had nightmares. Along the sidewalk, the rain covered it like a blanket, broken by my every footprint. A splash here, a splash there. A soul there everywhere, and without a care.

People here were mostly fishers, seamen or sailors, or the daughters of sailors…That’s what Elaine was. The beautiful daughter of an old sailor, and virtually the only youthful and beautiful thing here in this godforsaken town, other than the rain. Her father had went out to sea one day and never returned, the old grocery store owner took her in; and despite her father’s vanishing, she never once lost her innocence, or her charm. She had beautiful flowing blonde hair, that she always tied in a bun with the strands hanging softly over her face, and blue eyes as angelic as the ocean. She was far in contrast to my dark brown foreboding hair, and deep brown eyes. Everybody at the harbor here knew I was infatuated by her, and I couldn’t walk two steps in a store and talk to somebody without them recommending I ask for her hand in marriage.

I couldn’t tell if it was out of sarcasm, or annoyance why others cared so much about the two of us being together…Perhaps, the people in this town were just as bored as I was, and us being betrothed reminded them of their youthful vigorous days. Nonetheless, even Elaine seemed to take pity on me. She was my lovely little voice of reason, in this quaint and reasonless hamlet. Out front of the grocery store, white rose bushes greeted anybody walking in—the roses around here loved the infinite rain. To me, a rose was just a plant, but that didn’t stop me from clipping a couple long ones from the bushes for her, using nothing but my fingernails.

Best to not let the store owner Abbot find that I hurt his plants, else he’d have my head.

Three of the best white roses I could pinch off, and I was heading in the door with a clever grin on my face. The store was dark, but bright at the same time, crates and what not Elaine had to stock each day scattered everywhere. Sure enough stocking the shelves in front of the store, there she was…Always smiling for some unsung reason in her white blouse, even her smile brightened the store.

With one hand over the other stocking the shelf full of throat lozenges, she suddenly stopped when I held out the roses.

“J…Jack!” Elaine smiled, “You’re back! And you brought me roses? Tee hee…Awww, you shouldn’t have!”

We hugged each other, and I smiled and shrugged.

“Yeah, well…They aren’t much. I just thought I’d brighten your day a little.”

“They’re wonderful honey!” And just like that, she kissed me, and I kissed her back.

“Hey, I’ve got an idea honey…Why not take the rest of the day off?”

Elaine scratched her head and looked over her shoulder. “Oh no…What if Abbot gets mad? I can’t just leave him here by himself…”

“Oh come on. He doesn’t care. Every day I come over and we run off, every day you say the same thing! And yet we both run off together anyways. Nobody ever cares in this town but us, give yourself a break!”

Elaine smiled a playful smirk, as I continued.

“Besides, it’s raining today, perhaps it’s time to close up shop early.”

“Hmph, I bet just like you did yesterday, you’ll be buying a pack of cigarettes from Old Man Fredrick Johnson again…”

“Heh, at this point I just go in there to strike up a conversation. Anything to break up the monotony. Besides, with you here, things are a little bit more interesting.”

Elaine rolled her eyes and grinned. “Alright, alright! Let’s quickly sneak out before Abbot catches us again. Maybe we can place these roses in the vase on your kitchen table with the others.”

Looking all around, me and Elaine snuck out the door and away from the empty grocery. Holding her warm soft hand, we were both soaked by the rain in every way. I looked over toward the newspaper stand, tossing a quarter in it, I cleverly took it and used it as an umbrella substitute over my betroth’s head. She chuckled, and together we skipped off toward the convenient store.

I opened the door for her and we both went inside soaked like two wet dogs. The inside of Old Man Fredrick’s store was always warm, chasing way the cold. And with Elaine snuggled under my arm, there was no way one could ever consider freezing.

“Back again, are we Mr. Oliveson?” Old man Johnson cooed. He was always standing right in the middle behind his counter, alienated from his completely vacant store.

“I see you’ve brought Mrs. Harper with you today, usually you leave her outside the store.”

Johnson’s voice was always mundane and monotoned, like the school teacher that expects you to do everything right, yet fail at everything at the same time.

Elaine laid her head on my shoulder and smiled. “Hello Mr. Johnson. I think Jack wants to buy another pack of cigarettes again.”

John lifted his head. “Oh really? Last time, to my surprise he bought a bottle of whiskey with his cigarettes. I assume he hasn’t finished that bottle already?”

I gave a nervous chuckle, and tugged my collar. Elaine frowned sullenly.

“Actually, I didn’t plan on buying anything today Old Man John, I wanted to know if you had anything to cure bad dreams?”

Johnson lifted the glasses across his dark skin, and scratched his balding head.

“Having those night terrors again, are we? I’m afraid there is nothing in the store here that will help you. Other than what you’ve already bought of course.”

“No…” Elaine frowned, “I tried telling Jack his bad habits are probably what’s keeping him up at night. How about dreamcatchers? Do you happen to have any of those? My mother used to make some back before she got sick.”

Old Man Johnson to my surprise lifted a brow. “Ah, yes…A dreamcatcher? Now that is indeed quite the shift in your usual store purchase Mr. Oliveson. On the contrary I did used to have a couple that came in from the Blackfeet tribe years ago…But the Medium Mrs. Sullivan bought them all up months ago. Not only did the gypsy buy them up, but she also went ahead and bought all the tools to make them as well. She really is a stingy woman, but unlike you Mr. Oliveson, she’s a paying customer…”

I stretched my collar again, but then…An idea popped into my mind, and I widened my eyes.

“…You say that gypsy woman Mrs. Sullivan…She bought all the dreamcatchers? Does she still give readings?”

“Yes, clearly she still does readings.” Went Johnson, “If you must, you can go find her, after you’re done playing adventuring with young Elaine here. It’s painfully obvious you two are made for each other. If I were you Jack, I’d marry her before she and you get too old and sterile.” The three of us all smiled, and Elaine blushed like a red rose.

“Come on Jack! Let’s see if we can’t find that old gypsy Ms. Sulliven!”

“No Elaine…The rain is cold, and you’re soaked! Let’s just come back to my place, you can spend the night by the fire.”

Elaine furrowed her brows and beamed. “Like we do every night, Jack?”

Staring into her inescapable blue eyes, I nodded.

“Yes, just like always, hon.”

Old Man Johnson smiled, but coughed to himself, and I found myself the only one not chuckling to themselves.
“Well old man, I suppose me and Elaine here will be off. You take care of yourself now. Come on Elaine, if we make it back, perhaps we’ll still be able to watch the rain fall from the window.” “Hmph!” Old Man Johnson scoffed, and I left from the store with Elaine in her grace.

Copyrightcopyright November 14, 2023

Lambert’s Folly

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Once there was this young up and coming farmer named Lambert. At 23, Lambert wanted to see if it was possible to grow corn in his backyard, however, he didn’t know anything about farming, or anything it involved. And so, he asked his friend and neighbor to help him, his friend was well versed in farming, and taught him how to farm and specifically grow corn, of which Lambert was mostly interested in. It took Lambert 2 years to learn how to properly grow corn in his backyard, with him spending every day taking care of his backyard cornfield. 5 years later, Lambert started to worry about bugs possibly destroying his corn, as he didn’t want to eat rancid corn, and so him and his neighbor began to look up new ways to try and make his corn bug-proof, Lambert even remembered reading that grinding up cigarettes and growing them into the corn stalks might help him detour bugs (it didn’t) but him and his friend still had a good laugh about it.

It took another 6 years before him and his friend were able to come up with a fuller proof solution, of which in that time frame Lambert had gotten married to his maiden love interest. In the midst of Lambert growing his corn and working his crop virtually everyday, a sum 10 years had passed, when him and his friend decided to invest in a several fields for his corn, though sadly in that time Lambert and his first wife had divorced, and just 5 more years later, he came up with the idea to turn his corn farm into a pastry farm, making desserts that could be made using corn.

He had walked into his factory, greeted all his workers and staff, picking up a box of sweets that had his name trademarked on it: Lambert.

Just as soon as he began to make his rounds to work again, one of his employees reminded him of his business’ anniversary. Completely confused and caught off guard, he spun around to look at all the things around him: the factory, his many employees, and the huge corn operating apparatuses he owned. “But, what a minute, how many years has it been?” Lambert asked.

It was then that for the first time in his life, he stopped working to soak his life in… He had been working everyday nonstop for over 23 years! He was no longer 23, but 51 years old!

He had known his friend for over two decades, was already in his second marriage, and still felt like it was all just yesterday.

Lambert felt a deep pain in his chest, and great disappointment, what started out as just a simple project, became an entire franchise named after him, and had completely engulfed his entire life, and he barely remembered it all. He was a millionaire thanks to his hard work and dedication, but just immediately after he retired, wondering if he ever had fun a day in his life.

I saw an Ancestor on the Battlefield

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I awoke from the ringing in my head, with fatigues to match all the other soldiers that now lay dead-

When I saw one of my ancestors, on the battlefield.

He wore green fatigues and a helmet to match and was covered in blood.

Like a phantom he wandered forth, and in the midst of it all, tanks a’rolled like a chariot horse-

Like walking on a tight rope, arms outstretched, the phantom went forth staring toward the skies.

And just like shrapnel meant for the eyes, all other visions met their demise.

Like a vignette in all corners of my sight, the blackness was taking over.

Like life slowly fading away, my heartbeats were giving my soul the cold-shoulder.

Frozen with fear and wonder, I wandered behind the phantom,

until a tank fired past–

and I discovered that I was my own blunder-

The Phantom Silver

Standard

Elongated with chrome and steel, smooth like a flawless sphere. Like a sword big as half a building the Phantom Silver stood on the platform. Yellow lights encased all over it—I suppose the best way to describe it was to compare it to a Baoding Ball—chrome and eerie, yet magnificent at the same time. Soundless, yet making sound, it’s reverberance sounded like the bell of death and wonder. This thing was to go deep into space, and could reach speeds of up to 5 lightyears an hour.

Suffice to say, faster than my mother-in-law can travel, if I had one.

Piloting this puppy required at least a 20-man crew, give or take a pretty broad here and there.

I stood by it and released a soft smile. It stood on long legs, like a hydrobike with four overgrown kickstands, a latch door could lower to let any man or woman on board.

I had dreams of the ship having a mind of its own, looking for me. In where I would slumber in a Motel or whatever makeshift I could call a bed, it wasn’t me wandering the streets in search of it, no… The Phantom Silver wandered them in search for me.

Like when a peacekeeper paced the floors looking for marauders, laser rifles aimed at the ready clearing in and out of rooms with their crew of back-wackers and skull hitters, The Phantom, was like a formless, faceless peacekeeper looking to haul me off deeper into my dreams, deeper into space. Where the blackness of space around the flashing infrared and blinding light, covered me over like a blanket. A bed wasn’t my bed; a house not my home…space was, and the stars were my blanket. The moon and sun my day and night. Andromeda, the whiskey I drank to fall back to sleep at night.

It was like a ballistics bullet faster than sound in the middle of the night, at the stroke of midnight, striking across the galaxies without a sound.